Who God Wants Me To Be

Lately I've been thinking about this statement, "I am on a journey to discover who it is God wants me to be."

Last year I stood by and supported my girls while they worked hard to learn the world of modeling and to be models. I stood by proud as I watched them win awards, be recognized for their inner and outer beauty and even accomplish getting modeling contracts.

This year I have stood by and supported my hubby as he has had the opportunity to work together with some incredibly talented people to collaborate on a album that is a dream come true for him. I've seen him work hard, learn new techniques, and then be able to sit back listen to the beginning stages of an incredible album that God has ordained to take us to places we've never been before.

But ... what about me? Do I get a turn? I have LOVED every minute of seeing my very most favourite people in the world see their dreams come true ... but still .....

Some of my dearest friends know that it has been a desire of my heart to join with other believers in a small group setting to study and learn together and pray together. When our girls were babies the group we were traveling with got the band together often for these times and kept promising that the mom's of the group would have the same opportunity while the dad's watched the kids. It never happened. About 2 years ago a friend invited a few of us to her home and we were able to bond, begin learning from each other, study the Word and pray for each other on a fairly consistent basis. Unfortunately, this time ended. I decided that with my schedule, the best way to join a small group would be an online group. I found one, bought the book, got my user name and password and began reading. Unfortunately I travel with a hubby who runs his business off this laptop, with one daughter who is taking an online course on this laptop and another daughter who keeps her "social life" running with this laptop. I'm last to get to use the computer. I've only been involved with my book club a couple of times. One more disappointment.

But ... my Father knew what I needed all along! The last week and a half have been spent at the beautiful Shell Lane Studio in Kensington, PEI where we are surrounded with nothing but water, red sand and incredibly talented people. Just the setting is enough to make you relax and take time to reflect. I was in charge of keeping the meals on the table, the house tidy and the kids moving forward with their schoolwork. One morning, while drinking coffee in the comfy country kitchen, God began to speak to me through Dan (our producer and good friend). I can honestly tell you that more was accomplished in those couple of hours than years of small group could have accomplished. The difference was in the timing and the attitude. Bottom line ... I do know who God wants me to be ... and I am already everything He wants me to be! I am a spiritual being with the purpose of intersecting with human experiences. So simple, so deep, so completely life-changing. Everything I do, every encounter I have is by Divine Purpose. I AM everything HE wants me to be!! I am already accomplishing His purpose for my life ... simply by living my life as a spiritual being and having human experiences.

I'm not sure if that speaks to you or even if you understand it, but for me it has been life-changing!